The Metro has just published a piece on What the BDSM community can teach us about consent, interviewing Backlash spokesperson Blake.
‘This idea that consent is a contract is really pernicious,’ Blake says. ‘Consent is revocable and ongoing, and being encouraged to change your mind is necessary for consent. By saying you’ve changed your mind, you’re helping your partner respect your boundaries.’
‘Consent isn’t about just avoiding negative situations, it’s not about getting permission to do something, it’s an active process and collaboration between two people who respect each other to create the best experience for everyone involved.’
The same rules of engagement the BDSM community respects can easily be applied to vanilla encounters. Talking about what you want before, during and after a sexual encounter isn’t just necessary, but can be incredibly sexy too.
We’re thrilled to see the Metro discuss how the way that BDSM practitioners negotiate consent can inform the wider conversation around sexual consent – a particularly live topic in the wake of the #metoo movement.
This article came at a perfect time, just after our consent workshop facilitated by Blake and Felix last month. Several of the ideas from the workshop ended up quoted in the article. This is a crucial topic, and we’re delighted that the Metro has created space for it. With a simple and straightforward approach to the topic, hopefully this article will bring ideas about consent and communication in relationships to some new people.
Many thanks to journalist Olivia Cassano for doing a great job with this piece. We’ve invited her to attend our next consent workshop in January – if you can make it to London, maybe you can come too!